Wednesday, October 1, 2008
It's Better To Burn Out Than To Fade Away...Or Is It?
Is there anything more unintentionally hilarious than 1980's-era music videos? Directors hadn't quite grasped the technology at hand and editors weren't well-versed in Video Toaster enough to prevent the videos from coming across as high comedy generations later. And while I'm certain there are better examples out there, I happened to catch The Scorpions "No One Like You" video recently on VH1 Classic and was reminded of my favorite 1980's music video staple tricks, the "freeze frame-then-fade" edit. The fun begins at 1:07.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
The Top 10 Celebrities I'd Like To Sleep With (2008 Edition)
(ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED 5/23/08)
As I was racking my brain trying to think of the 10 most beautiful women in show business, it dawned on me how much my tastes have changed since the first list back in aught '01, which was (upon further thought) a lot more blonde-heavy. As you'll see below, the women of 2008 are a little more on the dark side. Of course the fact that my beloved girlfriend (Hello Jinx's Mother) is currently rocking a blonde with carmel highlights 'do these days does not mean anything whatsoever. Absoultely nothing. But before we get to the Top 10, we've got our first member of the Celebrities I'd Like To Sleep With Hall-of-Fame.
2008 CELEBRITIES I'D MOST LIKE TO SLEEP WITH HALL-OF-FAME MEMBER: MARIAH CAREY
The aforementioned Mimi has long held a special place in my heart. Ever since her "Someday" music video garnered heavy rotation on MTV, Mariah Carey and I have been likethis over the last 18 years. I've opted to officially retire her from any future Top 10 Celebrities I'd Most Like To Sleep With lists because really, I'd sleep with her at any age and at any point in time. So to the inagural member of the 2008 class, I say "Congratulations!"
10. AMANDA BYNES, ACTRESS (SHE'S THE MAN)
Amanda Bynes would strike me as the kind of girl you'd take out for a nice dinner, then to a movie and then for a late-night piece of Oreo Pie at Baker's Square. What makes her different from any regular girl though, is that she's 100x hotter.
9. KELLY CARLSON, ACTRESS (NIP/TUCK)
Up until a few short years ago, I had no idea who Kelly Carlson was. And then I got a subscription to a little magazine called Stuff. Kelly parlayed a few appearances in those pages, as well as a gig on Nip/Tuck and as John Cena's damsel in distress in The Marine, right into my heart. She's also a local girl which gives her street cred.
8. KIM KARDASHIAN, REALITY STAR (KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS)
"That Veronica Vaughn is one fine piece of ace," remarked the late Chris Farley in the film Billy Madison. Had Chris stuck it out a decade later, he very well may have said the same thing about Kim Kardashian. Previously famous for nothing, Kim is hot but classy, despite a resume that includes a sex tape and an appearance in Playboy. She's also Armenian, which means I need to book a trip to wherever Armenians migrate from.
7. RACHEL BILSON, ACTRESS (THE LAST KISS)
Rachel Bilson's status has been rising in my book (HI-YO!) since last year's appearance in GQ magazine. She was all kinds of terrificness in The Last Kiss as well. And she, much like everyone else on this list, is above me in every way.
6. GIADA DE LAURENTIIS, COOKING STAR (EVERYDAY ITALIAN)
I wasn't sure if Giada De Laurentiis was a chef or a cook, so Cooking Star seemed like the PC choice. Having never watched the Food Network previously, I realized what a terrible human being I had been. Watching Everyday Italian is akin to watching those Girls Gone Wild late night infomercials sometimes. Sure, you don't get to see everything, but they sure do let you see a lot.
5. RACHEL SPECTER, ACTRESS (RGX BODYSPRAY COMMERCIAL)
You say you're not quite familiar with Rachel Specter? If you watched any sort of male 18-34 demographic'd television show last year, you ARE familiar with Rachel Specter. She doesn't want to be able to smell you from there. Or there. Or there. But RIGHT HERE. Per IMDB.com, she's got quite a few things lined up here in the future so she may blow up. And just remember who pimped her out first.
4. SUSAN WARD, ACTRESS (SHALLOW HAL)
Susan Ward has been a staple of The Top 10 Celebrities I'd Like To Sleep With in my head over the last few years. And really, is it hard to see why?
3. EVA MENDES, ACTRESS (WE OWN THE NIGHT)
To be cliche, Eva Mendes is what we'd call, "muy caliente!" I've been fawning over Eva for nearly a decade now and that love is barrelling out of control at an alarming rate. Look out below!
2. JESSICA SIMPSON, SINGER (A PUBLIC AFFAIR)
Remember the pop music scene in 1999? Specifically the FEMALE pop music scene in 1999? There was Britney, X-Tina, Mandy and a Texas beauty by the name of Jessica Simpson. When the first three all seemingly busted out of the gates, leaving ol' Jess a distant fourth it seemed as if she might go the way of (insert name of 1980's contemporary). But I liked Jessica. I liked her a lot. I stuck with her through those trying times for two big reasons, reasons I won't even bother justifying here. Now, here we are almost 10 years later and who's getting all the pub? I feel like the owners of Big Brown. (Did you catch the two references to horse racing just now? I must be caught up in Triple Crown fever!)
And now, the moment you've all been waiting for. It is time to find out who placed #1 on my list of Top Ten Celebrities I'd Like To Sleep With (2008 Edition)...
1. KATHARINE McPHEE, SINGER (KATHARINE McPHEE)
Oh Kat McPhee. It had to be you. It just had to. At this moment in time, there's not a celebrity who is more delicious in every way than Katharine McPhee. And that's fact, Jack.
As I was racking my brain trying to think of the 10 most beautiful women in show business, it dawned on me how much my tastes have changed since the first list back in aught '01, which was (upon further thought) a lot more blonde-heavy. As you'll see below, the women of 2008 are a little more on the dark side. Of course the fact that my beloved girlfriend (Hello Jinx's Mother) is currently rocking a blonde with carmel highlights 'do these days does not mean anything whatsoever. Absoultely nothing. But before we get to the Top 10, we've got our first member of the Celebrities I'd Like To Sleep With Hall-of-Fame.
2008 CELEBRITIES I'D MOST LIKE TO SLEEP WITH HALL-OF-FAME MEMBER: MARIAH CAREY
The aforementioned Mimi has long held a special place in my heart. Ever since her "Someday" music video garnered heavy rotation on MTV, Mariah Carey and I have been likethis over the last 18 years. I've opted to officially retire her from any future Top 10 Celebrities I'd Most Like To Sleep With lists because really, I'd sleep with her at any age and at any point in time. So to the inagural member of the 2008 class, I say "Congratulations!"
10. AMANDA BYNES, ACTRESS (SHE'S THE MAN)
Amanda Bynes would strike me as the kind of girl you'd take out for a nice dinner, then to a movie and then for a late-night piece of Oreo Pie at Baker's Square. What makes her different from any regular girl though, is that she's 100x hotter.
9. KELLY CARLSON, ACTRESS (NIP/TUCK)
Up until a few short years ago, I had no idea who Kelly Carlson was. And then I got a subscription to a little magazine called Stuff. Kelly parlayed a few appearances in those pages, as well as a gig on Nip/Tuck and as John Cena's damsel in distress in The Marine, right into my heart. She's also a local girl which gives her street cred.
8. KIM KARDASHIAN, REALITY STAR (KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS)
"That Veronica Vaughn is one fine piece of ace," remarked the late Chris Farley in the film Billy Madison. Had Chris stuck it out a decade later, he very well may have said the same thing about Kim Kardashian. Previously famous for nothing, Kim is hot but classy, despite a resume that includes a sex tape and an appearance in Playboy. She's also Armenian, which means I need to book a trip to wherever Armenians migrate from.
7. RACHEL BILSON, ACTRESS (THE LAST KISS)
Rachel Bilson's status has been rising in my book (HI-YO!) since last year's appearance in GQ magazine. She was all kinds of terrificness in The Last Kiss as well. And she, much like everyone else on this list, is above me in every way.
6. GIADA DE LAURENTIIS, COOKING STAR (EVERYDAY ITALIAN)
I wasn't sure if Giada De Laurentiis was a chef or a cook, so Cooking Star seemed like the PC choice. Having never watched the Food Network previously, I realized what a terrible human being I had been. Watching Everyday Italian is akin to watching those Girls Gone Wild late night infomercials sometimes. Sure, you don't get to see everything, but they sure do let you see a lot.
5. RACHEL SPECTER, ACTRESS (RGX BODYSPRAY COMMERCIAL)
You say you're not quite familiar with Rachel Specter? If you watched any sort of male 18-34 demographic'd television show last year, you ARE familiar with Rachel Specter. She doesn't want to be able to smell you from there. Or there. Or there. But RIGHT HERE. Per IMDB.com, she's got quite a few things lined up here in the future so she may blow up. And just remember who pimped her out first.
4. SUSAN WARD, ACTRESS (SHALLOW HAL)
Susan Ward has been a staple of The Top 10 Celebrities I'd Like To Sleep With in my head over the last few years. And really, is it hard to see why?
3. EVA MENDES, ACTRESS (WE OWN THE NIGHT)
To be cliche, Eva Mendes is what we'd call, "muy caliente!" I've been fawning over Eva for nearly a decade now and that love is barrelling out of control at an alarming rate. Look out below!
2. JESSICA SIMPSON, SINGER (A PUBLIC AFFAIR)
Remember the pop music scene in 1999? Specifically the FEMALE pop music scene in 1999? There was Britney, X-Tina, Mandy and a Texas beauty by the name of Jessica Simpson. When the first three all seemingly busted out of the gates, leaving ol' Jess a distant fourth it seemed as if she might go the way of (insert name of 1980's contemporary). But I liked Jessica. I liked her a lot. I stuck with her through those trying times for two big reasons, reasons I won't even bother justifying here. Now, here we are almost 10 years later and who's getting all the pub? I feel like the owners of Big Brown. (Did you catch the two references to horse racing just now? I must be caught up in Triple Crown fever!)
And now, the moment you've all been waiting for. It is time to find out who placed #1 on my list of Top Ten Celebrities I'd Like To Sleep With (2008 Edition)...
1. KATHARINE McPHEE, SINGER (KATHARINE McPHEE)
Oh Kat McPhee. It had to be you. It just had to. At this moment in time, there's not a celebrity who is more delicious in every way than Katharine McPhee. And that's fact, Jack.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
That Old, Familiar Feeling
Caro Diário has officially fled migrated to Blogspot!
Due to circumstances beyond our control (read: LiveJournal got the block at the workplace), Caro Diário has migrated to Blogspot for future bloggy goodness. Don't fret though, the posts will still be as erratic and every-once-in-a-blue-moon, much as God intended. The next batch of posts will essentially be a "greatest hits" of previous work from Caro Diário v2.1 to introduce new readers (Heh.) to Caro Diário's (now operating at v3.1) terrific blend of musings, social commentaries and miscellani.
So you've got that to look forward to.
Due to circumstances beyond our control (read: LiveJournal got the block at the workplace), Caro Diário has migrated to Blogspot for future bloggy goodness. Don't fret though, the posts will still be as erratic and every-once-in-a-blue-moon, much as God intended. The next batch of posts will essentially be a "greatest hits" of previous work from Caro Diário v2.1 to introduce new readers (Heh.) to Caro Diário's (now operating at v3.1) terrific blend of musings, social commentaries and miscellani.
So you've got that to look forward to.
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